Bad Night

Sunday, June the 14th, a night to forget ... Since Nathan's home coming, he has never given us such a bad night as last night. Even on days when he was grouchy, it would be only for a short while like 10 mins at most. But it was horror of horrors last night. He wouldn't stop crying. Nothing we did seem right for him. He would only stop when he chose to. We were scratching our heads if it was reflux that caused him such discomfort, or has he developed new symptons of cough or cold ... we couldn't diagnose. He would stir in his bed first, started choking, then wailed, and when I picked him up, he still wouldn't stop wailing. After feed, he would choke and cry again. And this went on every hour. I was wondering where my strength would come ... I prayed. It was times like this that you know humanly speaking, it would be impossible for me to have that amount of patience and endurance. I would happily wheel his cot out of the room and let him be ... but thank God there's such thing called 'mother's love', wells out from within, I couldn't explain it, but seeing and hearing him cry certainly pains me everywhere too. I really hope he can grow up soon, start talking to me, and tell me what he wants and needs. Now at this stage, reading his cries has been one difficult task. 'Sleep like a baby...?" No way man. That's only in adverts trying to con people into buying their stuff, i,e matresses? Mine doesn't sleep that well. At most, occasionally, 3 hours straight, other times, every 1 or 2 hours, he would wake for feeds. Sometimes I do wonder what I did wrong ... just want to make it more right soon.

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